C.L.U.E. Public Information Service
UNCLASSIFIED • PUBLIC ACCESS • NOT FOR OPERATIONAL RELIANCE
Service status: Normal, subject to the internal definition of normal.
Public website v3.2 • paperwork may be newer
C.L.U.E. crest
Continental Liaison Unit for Enquiries
Continental Operations Directorate
Quaestio Ubique — enquiry, wherever somebody has misplaced the answer
Operational status: normal*

What we do

A practical guide to the services C.L.U.E. provides, claims to provide or has been instructed to describe as “coordinated support”.

Evidence

Chain-of-custody review

We reconstruct who had an item, when they had it, where they moved it, whether they knew they had it and why everybody's recollection improves immediately after seeing the timestamp.

Witnesses

Remote liaison

Statements may be taken from witnesses outside the operational area. Longstanding friendships do not invalidate evidence, although they may substantially increase the volume.

Documents

Examination & recovery

Visible writing, indented writing, tiny writing, writing somebody insists was “just a doodle” and paperwork previously classified as rubbish.

Technical

Measurement validation

When every sample produces the same extraordinary result, we consider the possibility that the universe has changed before eventually checking the instrument.

Transfers

Controlled item coordination

Supporting transfers where the carrier, organiser and recipient may be different people and, for operational reasons, one or more of them may not know this yet.

Case support

Temporary investigators

Where necessary, suitable civilians may be appointed to temporary investigative roles. Prior experience is helpful but not compulsory; possession of a notebook is viewed favourably.

Illustrated C.L.U.E. field examination equipment
Representative field support. Actual equipment may differ in appearance, function and willingness to agree with Procurement.
Interactive triage

Should this be a C.L.U.E. matter?

Answer three questions. The service will identify the least implausible administrative route.

What we do not do

  • Emergency response.
  • Private detective work for domestic disputes.
  • Insurance claims involving “mysterious disappearance” of items last seen in a garage.
  • Authenticating radioactive materials by taste.
  • Confirming secret organisations merely because somebody has guessed their acronym.

Service standard

C.L.U.E. aims to acknowledge public correspondence within twenty working days.

If your enquiry concerns the definition of a working day, the twenty-day period begins after that definition has been agreed.

Target under review