C.L.U.E. Public Information Service
UNCLASSIFIED • PUBLIC ACCESS • NOT FOR OPERATIONAL RELIANCE
Service status: Normal, subject to the internal definition of normal.
Public website v3.2 • paperwork may be newer
C.L.U.E. crest
Continental Liaison Unit for Enquiries
Continental Operations Directorate
Quaestio Ubique — enquiry, wherever somebody has misplaced the answer
Operational status: normal*
Public register / Organisational structure

Directorates & offices

The parts of C.L.U.E. we are prepared to admit exist on an unrestricted website.

Public-register note: Certain specialist bodies are omitted because disclosure is restricted, operationally unnecessary or would cause the public to notice an acronym senior management has spent considerable effort pretending is accidental.
C.O.D.

Continental Operations Directorate

Coordinates active continental matters, field investigators, cross-border tasking and everything described internally as “just a quick one”.

Operational

E.C.O.

Evidence Continuity Office

Maintains chain-of-custody standards, exhibit records and the firm institutional view that “I put it somewhere safe” is not an evidence-management system.

W.A.L.S.

Witness & Associate Liaison Section

Coordinates interviews with witnesses, associates, historical associates and persons whose duration of association is approaching geological timescales.

T.A.B.

Technical Assessment Branch

Reviews measurements, devices, unusual materials and technical conclusions which become less convincing the longer the machine is left switched on.

F.E.P.

Field Equipment & Procurement

Issues approved operational equipment and vigorously disputes allegations regarding its condition on arrival.

Serviceability categories include: serviceable, presumed serviceable, serviceable according to Procurement, and meeting scheduled.

A.R.S.E.

Administrative Review, Scrutiny & Escalation

Examines complaints, procedural failures and unresolved matters. The abbreviation predates current management and repeated attempts to rename the office have failed at committee stage.

How a matter moves through C.L.U.E.

1Someone notices a problem
2Jurisdiction becomes unclear
3A form is created
4Evidence contradicts the form
5C.L.U.E. becomes involved

Stages 2 and 3 may occur in either order. Stage 1 is occasionally retrospective.